My Career = Stress ???

WARNING:

This is gonna be a longer post, there is more than thousand words for this post. If you have an interest to know more about my career, then you may continue reading; otherwise, please just ignore this.

This post has been pending for quite sometimes, i finished it finally.

This is the most stress that i have ever had from work. Oh, just to let ya know how much stress i am feeling. I think i need to punch something else to release the stress. It's driving me insane. Ok, i think i'm losing my mind. I can't remember half of what has happened on last week. But i know i'm really hate this time. Do you know how stress it is of working in a PLC (Public Listed Company)? Yes, i agreed you will feel the same in any other companies as well.

Frankly speaking, i'm lucky compare to some of my friends or colleagues. I got a little appreciation from Mr. Boss aka the GM, and appointed as his assistant on June 2007, but i'm still doing my originally work in my department. I had talk to the HOD before, i wish i can just concentrate on only one position, but she said it's hard for her to find a replacement at the moment, however she will try her best.

As a head of Malaysia region, i'm handling all the branches through out the whole Malaysia, it is never ever a easy job. I will need to ensure all the branches are operating toward a right direction. I would say that our Malaysia market is touching a mature stage, it can't go much further anymore. Mr. Boss is putting a lot of pressure on me, and i'm still trying very hard to break through it. I used to travel quite often last time, but now i have given out the task to my assistants, so that i can be more concentrating on the planning side. Sometime i just can't leave the office for too long, as Mr. Boss still need my assistance on some ad hoc issues.

I'm holding too many things on hand, and lack of manpower. Sometime, somehow, i just felt that i have carried too much of things on my shoulders, is tiring. The turnover in this company is pretty high, there are too little staffs are willing to hand in hand with the company, maybe i should say “this is the environment of MLM (Multi Level Marketing),” sigh~!! My on going project was stuck due to the budgeting, but i still need to find a way to settle it. Company is doing business expansion, a wholly owned subsidiary will be set up shortly, and i'm the one who doing all the marketing plans in that company at this moment, tension x 100, haiks... :(

Had a short discussion with Mr. Boss last week. He told me that he is gonna be promoted as a Marketing Director within a short period, and he might be traveling to Mexico for few years. His intention is ask me to take over all his projects in Malaysia. I was like WTF... then i'm gonna die faster. Yes, no one can deny that this is a very good career enhancement, but it's challenging. Will i stay or leave??? God will tell the truth.

In marketing environment, maybe i should say in servicing line, you will always need to learn one theory – “Hold & Let Go.” You should know what & when you will need to hold, and what & when you suppose to let go. When one thing comes to a certain extent, you might know how to decide between hold and let go, it is always tough. In our real life, we are also practicing the theory of “Give & Take.” If you wanna take something, then you must be willing to give out something as well, sometime you will even need to sacrifice the things that you love.

Hectic schedule in this month. My Kuching & Kota Kinabalu trip are yet to be confirmed, i wish they could make it on next month. At the same time, i'm still waiting for Mr. Boss to confirm my JB trip. I don't really believe that anyone of my friends doesn't has stress from his/ her work, it just depends on how you manage it. I'm finding a way for me to relieve the stress. While having a busy day, fortunately i still managed to allocate my time for gym, but i'm not too sure in the future. And i found out that workout is the BEST way for me to balance my life.

I am so stressed that i'm kinda jittery and antsy and i can't stop moving. I wish i could just take a break from everything, but unfortunately i can't at the moment. It's enough to drive a man insane, and i'm getting pretty close. My head is completely numb, and it's hard for me to even function right now.

I needed to get my PC straightened out. It has been acting really weird the last couple of days, and i want to see what's wrong with it. It does this every now and then. It's quite annoying. I think it just needs the temp files and caches emptied. Mr. Boss suggested to buy me a laptop, it's good in a way.

I am now downloading some music, or trying to. I need some new songs to listen to, but i'm not sure what would be good. I have been trying to think of some songs that i like that i don't already have. I also heard a cool song the other day on my friend's myspace. It's called “The Day We Find Love” by 911. It's a really cool song. I'm a bit addicted to it now, lolz lolz!!

I think i'm gonna go to bed early tonight. I really need the sleep. I haven't been able to sleep very well the last few nights, mainly because of stress. I'm starting to get pretty run-down. It's a miserable feeling. I wish i could get rid of this feeling. I need a vacation. I'm not joking when i say this, i really do need one. The pressure and stress combined are running me ragged. I'm very run-down and tired. I seriously need some sleep.

My head feels weird. It's completely numb, and my vision is a little off. It's really starting to freak me out. I think i'm about to lay down. I need to get some sleep in a little while. I'm totally exhausted. It's good that i'm typing another blog post though. It's helping to calm me down, which is good, but it's also forcing me to use a lot of brain power to recall all of the memories. I'm just so tired. I need to lay down now.

~GOOD NIGHT~