Is this the only way?

I was on msn with ST just now. He is my high school mate, but we didn't keep in touch for many many years, until one fine day. No doubt we are still meeting each other in some special occasions, but it's really rare.

All started from my birthday that day itself. ST sent me a greeting sms in the morning. I was really surprised to receive a message from him after so many years. And there was another wishes coming in before my birthday ended. What a sweet guy! But sometimes, the things you wish never come true. A message you have been waiting for so long never reached you. What a joke!!

We were chatting with each other like a normal friend on msn. Finally i told him that i have one candidate in my heart at this moment after i was asked for so many questions. He kept encouraging me to do a confession. Well folks, if you know me well, you should know i would never done any confession no matter how. He then mentioned "When times changing, sometimes you have to grasp what you want." I understand this, but it's always easier said than done.

Later he threw me this "Will you give others a chance if there's someone else?" I know what he was trying to hint me. Now i recall the story from K-bear's blog, more or less the circumstance just like where i stand now. I know ST has been waiting for me for more than 6 years, it's not an easy job at all. However the cake's not worth the candle. He knew the answer long time ago but it never make it apodictic, just refuse once utterly, and this was what he would like me to do him the favour to exterminate his hope at all. I apologize that i couldn't hold anyone in my heart anymore.

He said he has never regretted on what had been done. He told me that worth or worthless, a lot of time decided by the person who is waiting. But i felt really bad as he mentioned he will make himself disappeared after the conversation no matter what i said. He insisted just be friend would make someone suffer or be in torture, probably not me, but at least he was feeling that way. I have no choice but to agree on his persistence.

I was being touched by his last message, very very much!!

He said,

"I will wish you the day you waiting for is not far from the day after tomorrow, hopefully he will understand how you feel and grasp it. It will always be the same, all my wishes to you are truly from my faith, this will never change. I'll pray for you to get him.

And this is the last words for this conversation. It just a personally expression and it brings no other meaning, at least a chance for me to say it out all these years. Please do not mind. You are the only lady i have ever like, favor even to love since i knew what is the feeling is. I will keep this true and naive feeling in the deepest of my heart.

I understand that the distance and gap will never gone, but i never try to cross over but just overlook you from the other side of your world. Hopefully all your wishes come true. THE END.''